Baby Countdown!

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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Lazy Saturday

Dear Ryan,
    We have now known that you are a boy for 5 days.  It still seems unreal in some instances.  Daddy & I have wanted you for so long that sometimes it's hard to believe that you are actually on your way!  On Monday when we found out that you were a "he", we went & got your baby bedding.  It is so adorable & I hope you like it!  Yesterday, Daddy painted your room.  He still has to finish up the trim, but it looks great!  We are hoping to put your furniture together next weekend with the help of Grandma & Grandpa, but we will have to wait & see.
    I am laying around the house today like I am supposed to in order to keep you safe.  I think it's going to be a long weekend, but I don't mind.  There is nothing I wouldn't do for you to keep you safe, healthy & happy. 
   Christmas is in 2 weeks & even though you aren't here yet, I think you are going to make out like a bandit!  When Grandpa found out you were a boy, the first thing he said was, "Can I go do my Christmas shopping now for my Grandson?".  It was so cute.  Just like Daddy & I, Your Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, & Cousins are so excited for you to come & can't wait to meet you. 
    I'm going to let you go for now.  I have to sit up to write to you & I need to lay back down again.  I hope you are having a good time kicking away & growing.  We love you & will write to you again soon!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Breaking News...

Dear Baby,
    Well, today was very informative, both good & bad.  I had my 20 week ultra sound today to see if you are a boy or girl & to make sure that you are developing normally & that you are healthy.  The most wonderful news is that we now know that you are a boy!  We no longer have to refer to you as the baby, we can now call you by your name:  Ryan Christopher Allard.  We are so excited to know "what" you are & to start referring to you by name.  I have to admit, that I was surprised because I really thought you were a girl.  I am just so blessed to have you & thankful that the Lord has given you to us.  Daddy is very excited as well & of course, we can't wait to meet you!
     The doctor also had to give us some distressing news as well.  The first bit of information is that there is something wrong with your left kidney.  The ultra sound showed that it was distended (enlarged), but they don't know why.  We have to go to a Perinatologist to have a special high tech ultra sound done to see if they can find out what is going on.  Needless to say, Daddy & I are very scared.  The doctor said that you may have to take medicine for the rest of your life or that you may have to have surgery to have it removed, we just don't know yet.  We are continuing to pray everyday that the Lord will protect & heal you & that whatever it is, it goes away on its own.  It saddens Daddy & me to know that you may have to start out in this world with an obstacle, but be assured, that no matter what, we will always love you & we will do whatever it takes to make sure you are healthy & happy.
    As if the kidney information wasn't enough, they also informed us that my cervix is shortening.  This usually happens at the end of the pregnancy when you are ready to be born.  It is way too early for you to come, so this is not good news.  I have to start taking shots once a week to hopefully stop it from progressing & I am on modified bed rest now.  When I get home from work & on weekends, I have to lay flat to keep any pressure off my cervix to help it not to dilate.  Apparently my cervix is in the "normal" range when there is no pressure, but when they pushed down on my belly which applied pressure to my cervix, it dropped to 2.8 centimeters.  2.5 centimeters is when things start to get really serious.  So again, Daddy & I are praying that God will continue to watch over me & to help my body to cooperate & do what it should.  We just love you so much & even though we want to meet you, it is way too early right now for your safety.
    Some other good news I can report is that I can feel you kick quite frequently.  It makes me feel confident that you are strong & healthy.  The doctor said that my placenta is on the front side of my uterus, so when you kick, in order for me to feel it, you have to kick through it which is like kicking through a pillow.  She said that most women whose placenta is in this position don't feel the kicks until much later & sometimes, not at all.  Therefore, you have to be kicking pretty hard for us to feel you! 
    Speaking of us, Daddy got to feel you kick for the first time on Sunday.  He was so excited!  He talks to you every night before we go to bed.  He tells you how much he loves you & how happy he is that you are coming & he always asks for you to give him a kick.  You haven't responded to his direct requests yet, but when I feel you moving, he tries to "catch" you at those times.
    I just wanted to check in & let you know of all the information we have received.  We are just so blessed to have you in our life.  You keep growing & getting stronger & keep kicking Mommy! 

Here are some pictures from our visit.  A profile view & the confirmation that you are a boy!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Thank You!

Dear Baby,
  So, you know how Mommy keeps asking you to kick me so that I can finally feel you move?  Well, apparently you heard my first request & I just didn't realize it!  Yesterday, I felt you move for sure because you were very active.  It was the same movement I have felt for the past 2 weeks, but a little stronger.  I didn't realize those first feelings were you!  Mommy feels so silly not realizing that I have felt you kick for the last few weeks.  However, I am just so happy to finally know that I can feel you moving around.  I anxiously await the next movement & when you do move, I know that you are awake.  Daddy is very excited & he can't wait for you to get a little bigger so he can feel you kick too!  So, now that I know you are big enough for me to feel you move, keep on kicking away!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Dear Baby,
   Wow!  It has been a crazy few weeks over here, let me tell you!  However, Daddy & I have constantly been thinking about you as always.
   About 3 weeks ago, I was getting in the car to leave work & I fell.  I landed right on my bad knee (I have already had 2 surgeries on it).  Boy, did it hurt like crazy, but not as much as worrying if you were OK.   After talking to 20 different people, they assured me that since I didn't land on my stomach, that you were OK.  That made me feel better.
    As if the fall wasn't enough, last Saturday Daddy & I were out crib shopping for you.  We were having so much fun & then bam!  We were rear-ended in a car accident.  I was actually on the cell phone with Grandma when it happened (Daddy was driving) & was completely hysterical.  I called 911 & they sent an ambulance to take me to the emergency room.  I was so worried that you were hurt.  Luckily, the doctor was able to find your heart rate & it was beating normally...140.  I felt so much better.
    Now the countdown is on to find out if you are a boy or a girl.  The suspense is killing us over here.  I want you to know that no matter what, we will love you just the same & we are just blessed to have you.  I want to know so that we can paint your nursery & get cute bedding for you!  2 1/2 more weeks & we have our appointment to find out just what you are, better cooperate!  :)
   Last weekend Daddy & I were able to go crib shopping again & we got your crib & dresser/changing table.  It is really nice & we can't wait to bring you home.  I feel much better knowing that you now at least have a place to sleep. 
    Thursday is Thanksgiving.  You're going to love it because I am going to eat like a pig!  You have made me so hungry it is unbelievable.  You sure do eat a lot for being so small!  That's OK, anything to help you grow & be healthy.
    That's all we have to report at this time.  I just wanted to "check in" & fill you in on all the craziness that has been going on.  Hopefully, I will have some more news to report soon.  I still haven't felt you kick & wish that you would.  So again, I'm asking...please kick me really hard so I can feel you & know that you are in there & are OK.  You can sleep at night with Mommy & kick away during the day!  We love you sweetheart & can't wait to meet you!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

16 Weeks

Dear Baby,
    I know it has been awhile since I have written to you, but that doesn't mean we aren't thinking about you!  In fact, you are all Daddy & I talk about & think about!  It has just been extremely busy & hectic over here & I just haven't had the time to write.
    With all that being said, I am 16 weeks pregnant with you today!  I am so excited!  I should be able to feel you move at any time & just can't wait.  I'm hoping that you just give me a nice big kick so I know you are moving around & are O.K. 
    We had another ultra sound last week.  Your heart rate was 131 which is actually the lowest it has been, but the doctor said it was normal.  We think you might have been sleeping because you weren't moving around as much as last time.  However, you were measuring almost a week ahead of schedule, so you are growing like a weed!  The doctor did try to determine if you were a boy or girl, but it was too early & she couldn't make the determination.  Everything is going so well that we only 1 ultra sound left & that is at 20 weeks to make sure you are developing normally & to find out if you are a boy or girl!  We are so excited, & we just can't wait!   December 6th just can't come fast enough!
    We have our 16 week appointment next week & they will listen to your heartbeat & measure my belly.  I still don't look quite pregnant yet, but I can definitely tell my tummy is bigger & it is definitely harder.  I can't wait to finally look pregnant & have the cute little baby bump!
     We are also excited to get your room together.  The nursery is finally empty, so now we can move your furniture in.  We are waiting to know if you are a boy or girl before we buy your crib & stuff because we are going to customize the room just for you, so that is another reason we can't wait to find out your gender because Mommy wants to go shopping!  :D
   That's all we have to report for now. I hope you know how much we love you & just can't wait to meet you & see your precious little face.  So, you keep growing & continue to stay healthy & if you wouldn't mind, can you just give me a little kick? 

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

12 Week Appointment

Dear Baby,
   I had my 12 week check-up today & everything went great!  They were able to find your heartbeat on the Doppler & it was 166 beats per minute.  You also just kept moving & would not stay still for very long!  The doctor said that was great!  You have a very strong heartbeat & you are very active, which the doctor says means that you are healthy. 
Daddy & I were so excited to hear the good news. 
    I have another ultra sound in 2 weeks to check on the "mysterious" spot in my uterus.  However, we learned today that the spot is no longer a mystery.  The doctor believes it was a twin that didn't develop.  We are sad to think that we could have had another child & it didn't grow, but we are beyond happy to know that you are here & that you are growing & continuing to do well.  I am going to try & not stress so much about you (doctor's orders), but it is so hard because I love you so much & I just want to protect you from anything bad. 
   It was such a great appointment, we didn't get any bad news & everything went great.  I think you are going to be a little acrobat when you get here based on all your movement today!  That's OK, you do whatever you want & whatever makes you happy.  Always know that no matter what, Daddy & I will love & support you every step of the way!  We love you sweetheart & will "see" you again in 2 weeks!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

12 Weeks

Dear Baby,
    We made it to 12 weeks!  Daddy & are so excited!  We had another ultra sound on Friday & we got to see you moving around & hear your heart beat.  Grandpa came with us to the appointment because he really wanted to see you & hear your heart beat too, he was so excited!  The doctor says that everything is going well & you are still growing like you should.  We couldn't be happier.  They still don't know what the mysterious "spot" is that is in my belly with you.  They think it could be a twin that didn't develop, but they don't know, so we are having another ultra sound in 2 weeks so they can monitor it to see if it is still growing or getting smaller.  We are always happy to have an ultra sound since that means we get to see you. 
    We have our "official" 12 week appointment on Tuesday & we won't have an ultra sound, but we will get to hear your heart beat.  It seems like time is going to fly by now.  It's so hard to believe that you are going to be here in 6 months!  It seems so far away, but so close at the same time. 
    In the ultra sound we just had you were actually turned & "looking at us".  The photo wasn't very good, but I am uploading it anyway.
   I hope you are having a good evening & getting lots of rest.  I am heading to bed since I have to get up early in the morning for work.  We love you & will talk to you again soon!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Dear Baby,
   Wow, Mommy celebrated being 11 weeks pregnant with you by getting the flu!  I have a flu shot scheduled, unfortunately the sickness got to me first.  I can't believe we are almost done with the first trimester, it seems like just yesterday that we found out about you!  I noticed today that  my pants are fitting a little tighter despite losing 11 pounds, so hopefully that means you are still growing & continuing to be strong & healthy!
   Daddy & I have an appointment on Friday to see you again & we can't wait!  Not too much has been happening around here.  Not a day goes by that we don't talk about you.  Actually, today is Mommy & Daddy's 8 year wedding anniversary & Daddy said his "gift" to me this year was YOU!  I told him that was the best gift ever because that is what I always wanted. 
    We just love you so much & are really enjoying "seeing" you grow in my belly & keep praying that you are healthy & strong so we can meet you!  I hope you have a wonderful night sweetheart & we love you so much!  Hopefully I will be off all of these medicines soon & will feel better, so just hang in there.

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Secret's Out!

Dear Baby,
    Daddy & I have finally told everybody about you!  We are so excited to share the news of your arrival with all our family & friends.  We decided not to wait the 2 extra weeks because we feel that with the miracle we have witnessed, we need all the prayers we can get to ensure that you remain healthy & strong.  Everybody has been so supportive & they are all excited for us.  Lots of people have stated that Daddy & I are going to be great parents to you, so let's hope that as you get older, you agree.   :D
    We are now just taking things one day at a time & counting down to each appointment to get the next update.  I am going to continue to do nothing but sit down.  Daddy has taken over all the housework & chores because he wants me to be as relaxed & stress free as possible so that I can continue to keep you safe from harm. 
    I continue to pray everyday for your health & safety & I know that God is protecting you.  Daddy & I have waited so long for you arrive & I think he knows how devastating it would be if something happened.  I hope that while you are growing, that somehow, you can feel all this love that we have for you. 
    Now that people know about you, they are making bets as to whether you will be a boy or a girl.  So far, Grandpa is the only one convinced that you are a boy.  Everybody else that we have talked to believes that you are a girl.  Daddy & I still don't have an opinion, we are just happy to have you no matter what!  It will be interesting in a few more months to see who was right!
    We love you sweetheart & you hang in there & don't ever give up because we will never give up on you! Sweet dreams & happy growing our love.

It's a Miracle!

Dear Baby,
    Mommy had her ultrasound today to see if you still had a heartbeat & she couldn't believe the news she received!  Daddy took me to my appointment & your heart was still beating at a strong 168 beats per minute.  The tech looked at me and asked in an annoyed tone, "Why are you even having this ultrasound?  I'm not the doctor, but there is nothing wrong with your baby".  I was upset that she was asking me this & making a comment given that the whole reason we were there was to see if you were still alive.  I explained the situation to her & she stated, "Well, again, I'm not the doctor & you will have to talk to him, but your cervix is closed & the baby is nowhere near the cervix".  I just laid there completely stunned.  What in the wold was she talking about?!
   Daddy & I met with Dr. Shoenmaker & my mind was racing.  I had no idea what was going on.  He came into the office & looked at me said that he doesn't know how & he doesn't know why & he has never seen this before, but somehow, you have completely moved to the other side of my uterus away from my cervix!  He said that you are no longer in danger & that there is no reason to believe that you would not survive!  He stated that before a miscarriage occurs, you would stop growing because my body would cut off the nutrients to you to prepare for your passing.  However, as the doctor stated, "You are growing like a weed"!  Daddy & I are completely shocked.  I informed him what Dr. Griffin had said on Tuesday & how she had used the words "inevitable" & "unpreventable".  He stated that the information we had on Tuesday was correct, but now things have completely changed 180%.  He said that you now look like any other normal pregnancy & your heart rate is normal, you are growing normally & he sees absolutely NOTHING of concern!  He told me to go home & enjoy the rest of my pregnancy & fully expects that we will get to meet you next April when you are do & he fully expects that you will be completely healthy!
    Needless to say, Daddy & I are so excited!  We are still in shock over the wonderful news.  We truly believe that all the prayers from our friends & family & your willingness to survive is what saved your life.  You truly are our miracle & we couldn't be any happier.
     I have another ultra sound scheduled for October 8th "for my own sanity" as the doctor put it.  He stated that he understands how difficult this has been for us & that I won't believe that everything is OK until I hear your heart beat again & he is absolutely right.  So we can't wait for our next ultra sound.  We feel so blessed that we have such wonderful friends & family who prayed so hard for you & we are grateful that you are a fighter with a will to live.
    As for the bad cramping I had on Wednesday, the doctor has no conclusive answer, but we believe it was you moving to the other side of my uterus with the help from God.  We are beyond ecstatic & are so blessed to know that you are going to be OK!!  So, you keep fighting & keep growing & we are going to keep praying & continue our countdown until we get to meet you.  We love you!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Dear Baby,
    Mommy had some sever cramping late last night & early this morning & she is very scared that you are trying to leave.  I called the doctor & they believe the same thing, so they have scheduled an ultra sound to see if you have a heartbeat.  Daddy took the day off work so he could go with me to the appointment.
    I had another ultrasound & your heart was still beating at a strong 171 beats per minute.  I don't understand how you look & sound healthy, but the doctors are telling me that you are not well.  It is such an emotional roller coaster that none of us want to ride. 
    I saw Dr. Pugmire & she has allowed us a small amount of hope.  She said that my cervix is now closed (she has no idea how or why, but it is).  However, you are still pushing up on my cervix, which is not good.  She said that as of right now, we still have a viable pregnancy, but she believes that I will still lose you & that the pregnancy is going to be day to day as to whether you survive for the next several weeks.  She suggested that I go home & do absolutely nothing for the rest of the week.  She doesn't know what is causing the cramping, but at this time she does not feel that it is because you are leaving. 
    It is so frustrating & confusing because yesterday they said that I would lose you & there was nothing we could do & that was the end of that.  Today, they are saying that yes, I MAY lose you, but now they aren't sure.  It is so difficult to remain strong when every day the situation changes.  She informed me to still keep my ultra sound on Friday to see where things were at. 
   So, again, we wait.  We wait for something to happen or for Friday, whichever comes first.  I am having such a hard time & am in a deep depression & am an emotional mess.  I am holding onto hope for your sake, but scared to do so at the same time knowing what the outcome will most likely be. 
    Again, I ask you sweetheart.  Please hold on & fight for your life.  Daddy & I love you so much & we don't want to lose you.  I just don't know how I could survive if I lost you.  We will keep praying along with our friends & family & hope for the best.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Dear Baby,
    Mommy had another emergency appointment today.  She was having some "issues" that she wasn't sure was normal & the doctor said that they needed to see me right away.  So, since Daddy was at work, Grandma took me to the appointment.  To be honest, I was a little annoyed because I figured they were going to tell me that it was something small & not a big deal & that everything was OK.  Boy, was I wrong.
    I saw Dr. Griffin & she decided to do a pelvic exam to find out what was going on.  She did the exam, but then stated that she wanted to do also do an ultra sound to collect more information.  I thought it was weird, but was excited that I was going to get to see you & hear your heart beat again.  So, I did the ultra sound & the tech left the room & said she would be back shortly.  Grandma & I were waiting for what seemed like quite awhile when the tech returned, but she also had the doctor with her.  Now, this is my 4th ultra sound & the doctor has never come into the ultra sound room, so I immediately wondered what was going on.  The doctor had the tech bring up an ultra sound picture & that's when my world ended.
    The doctor explained that the inside of my cervix was 100% open & that your little sac that protects you was pushing up against my cervix & was trying to eliminate you from my body.  She explained that I was having a miscarriage & that there was nothing that they could do to prevent it & she believed that you would be gone before Friday.  I was completely hysterical.  I started screaming & crying uncontrollably, begging the doctor to save you life.  She apologized & said that there was nothing she could do & that it was not my fault that this was happening.  I asked her if you could possibly move & she said no.  She explained that once you implanted in my uterus, that is where you would stay & it was not possible for you to move.  I then asked her if my cervix could close so that you could remain in my tummy & she also said no to that.  She explained that because my cervix is already open (& it should not be) it would only close after I had lost you.
    I was completely devastated & shocked.  Never in a million years would I have though the doctor was going to tell me something like this.  Grandma was very supportive & hugged me & tried to calm me down, but nothing would work.  The doctor then explained that losing you could be dangerous to my health, so she suggested that I have a surgical procedure called a D & C to have you removed.  I explained that I could not do that because you still had a heart beat & that meant that you were still alive & that I was not going to do anything while your heart was still beating.  She said she understood & scheduled another ultrasound for Friday to check & see if you had a heartbeat.  If not, we would have the procedure at that time.
    Grandma & I both had a very difficult time trying to adjust to the news.  The doctor answered all my questions, but they were not the answers I wanted to hear.  I could not believe that I was about to lose my precious baby that I love so much.  I had to call work to tell them what was going on & that I had to take the rest of the week off work.  I couldn't stop crying & could barely walk, let alone return to work.  Grandma called Daddy & told him what was happening & he immediately came home from work to be with me.  All we could do was wait to see what would happen.
    We have told our close family & friends who know about you & they are frantically saying prayers & hoping for a miracle, just like Daddy & me.  All I can say to you my precious love is hold on & don't give up because we are NOT giving up on you!  We love you very much!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

9 Weeks

Dear Baby,
    Mommy is now 9 weeks pregnant with you as of yesterday.  I would have written to you yesterday, but you had me so sick, I just couldn't.  Yesterday was the first time I physically got sick.  I have nausea every day, but I have never gotten sick until yesterday.  You must not have like my breakfast of Rice Krispies cereal, I will be sure to avoid it for awhile, LOL!
    Not too much has really been going on around here.  I have found out that 2 other people I know are also pregnant & their babies are due around the same time you are.  I'm just excited for the next 3 weeks to hopefully go by fast, so we can go to the doctor & hear your heartbeat again.  Since I have been feeling so cruddy lately, I am confident that you are still growing & developing as you should.  My baby information says that you are now 1 inch long & are the size of a grape.  You aren't even here yet & you are already growing so fast!
    You take it easy in there & try to take it easy on me.  I want you to be happy & healthy, but I could use a little break from feeling sick all the time.  I still don't mind the sick feeling, I would do anything for you to ensure your happiness & health.  You continue to grow & Daddy & I will talk to you again soon.  We love you!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Dr. Appointment

Dear Baby,
    Daddy & I had our Dr. appointment yesterday with Dr. Hawkins.  She is the doctor that helped us to get pregnant with you.  I had another ultra sound to check on your progress.  Daddy got to see you & hear your heart beat for the first time!  (I will upload the photos when I get them scanned) You are getting bigger.  Your heart rate was 157 & the doctor said that was perfectly normal.  She did end up changing your due date though to April 23rd.  She said that we weren't quite as far along as they originally thought.  It was a little disappointing, but it's OK, they were only off by 4 days.  Our books keep saying that you are a size of a kidney bean, so Daddy keeps calling you his little "Kelly Bean".  It's so cute!
    Our next appointment is October 12th & that will be our 12 week appointment, which means that if you are still doing well, we can FINALLY tell everybody!!  We just can't wait to share the wonderful news about your arrival.  We just feel so blessed that God has given you to us. 
    So little one, you just keep growing & getting stronger so that everything will be good at our next appointment which is only a month from tomorrow!  We love you so much & want nothing but the best for you.  Have a wonderful day sweetheart & I will write again soon 

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

8 Weeks

Dear Baby,
    Mommy is 8 weeks pregnant with you today.  It's still so amazing!  I just can't wait to see your face & Grandma & Grandpa are getting anxious too.  Yesterday they spent all day "window shopping" for you since it's too early to buy anything yet.  Yesterday, Daddy & I started to try & prepare our cat Kaylie for your arrival. You will love her.  She is so soft & fun to pet! 
    Not too much has happened since the last time I wrote to you.  I still feel a little cruddy.  You made me very nausea today, but I didn't get sick, I just felt cruddy.  It's OK though, I know that means you are growing.  You are now the size of a kidney bean.  That is so amazing to me.  4 weeks ago you weren't able to be seen with the naked eye & now you are 5/8 of an inch! 
    Daddy & I go to the doctor on Friday to have another Ultra Sound, so we will get to see you again & hear your little heart beat.  Daddy is very excited since he wasn't able to go to the last one. 
    I'm running late this evening.  Grandma & I stopped by BabiesRUs to look around.  We didn't get anything, but we have already picked out your high chair, so that is one thing we can check of our list!  I'm going to eat some dinner so I can head to bed.  I was very busy at work today & am so tired.  You have a wonderful night & sleep tight my love.

***Note to blog readers:  I have uploaded the first ultra sound photo on the blog entitled "Big Scare".  You can all finally see the baby (sort of) LOL!***

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Dr. Appointment

Dear Baby,
    Today Daddy & I went to see Dr. Pugmire to ask her lots of questions about what foods & medications are safe for Mommy to take while you are growing in my tummy.  The good new is that it is perfectly safe for me to drink my Diet Pepsi or my Iced Tea & that the "special" food I eat that has Splenda & artificial sweeteners in it are also safe.  All of this in moderation, of course.  She did also give me some medicine to take for my back pain when it is out of control, so that was a big relief to me.  We also found out that you are really doing your own thing & there really isn't much we can do to help you along (other than avoiding the obvious such as alcohol, smoking, & illegal drugs). 
    We have some other big news for you.  We told Grandma Jill & Grandpa Mike about you today.  We called them & put them on speaker phone & Daddy & I yelled, "We're pregnant!"  Grandma Jill was so excited she started screaming & crying & said that her prayers have been answered.  We then told them that they absolutely could not tell anybody right now because we have to make sure you are growing & getting stronger.  Grandma Jill & Grandpa Mike always go to South Carolina for the winter & when they found out your arrival date, Grandma Jill said they will have to cut their vacation short so they can come home & meet you when you arrive!  It would be so nice to have all of your grandparents at the hospital to help welcome you into the world.
    Overall, this has been a good day & I am feeling less stressed about your health.  We have lots of people praying for you (including Mommy & Daddy) & I know that everything is OK, I just need to learn a little more patience & continue to have faith.  You sleep well tonight sweetheart & I will write more again soon.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Big Scare

Dear Baby,
    You gave Mommy a huge scare today!  I have been feeling good & actually some of my symptoms are subsiding, but while I was at work, I noticed I was spotting again.  It really scared me, so I called Daddy at home & asked him to call the doctor (not many people at work know about you yet, so I didn't want to make the call).  Not even 5 minutes later, my phone rang at work & it was the doctors office.  Since I was spotting & cramping (I have been cramping the whole time, not a new symptom) they wanted to do an Ultra Sound to make sure you were OK & they wanted to do it today.  They stated it was an "emergency ultra sound".  That scared the crap right out of me!  Daddy has to work today, so Grandma (who works with Mommy) took me to the appointment.
    I was very nervous & scared that you might not be well.  The tech lady had the screen turned so I couldn't see what she was looking at & I was literally holding my breath.  The next thing I know, she says, "We have a heartbeat".  I let out a huge sigh & tears just ran down my face.  I was so happy.  Then she turned the sound on & Grandma & I got to hear your little heart beat for the first time!  It was wonderful!  The tech lady then turned the screen & we got to SEE your little heart beat.  I just couldn't stop crying & let out a huge sigh of relief. 
     After the ultra sound, we then saw Dr. Shoenmaker.  I had never seen him before, but he was very nice.  He said that you are growing & everything looks good.  Your heart rate was 113 beats per minute (bpm), which he said was normal.  However, I have to have another ultra sound next week because he wants your heart rate to be over 120 bpm & if so, that means everything is OK.  If it's not, that is not good news & Mommy will be devastated.
    So, my little one, I am asking you, PLEASE keep growing & getting stronger so next week when we go to the doctor you little heart will be beating over 120 bpm.  If it is, our chances of losing you drop to only 5% & we can then relax a little & let Daddy's side of the family know the wonderful news! 
    I love you so much & I don't know what I would do if I lost you, so Daddy & I & hopefully our friends & family who know about you will keep praying for you to grow big & strong so we can finally meet you in 8 months!  I did get a picture of you today.  You are so tiny, it's hard to see, but I will put it up here once I get the printer connected.  Daddy is very excited to see you & to hear your heartbeat next week.
    We love you so much & please, just keep growing! 

UPDATE:  Here is the baby's first ultrasound at 6 weeks.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


Dear Baby,
    Boy, did you give Mommy a big scare last night!  I have been feeling fine through the whole pregnancy & last night when I went to the bathroom before bed, I found some spotting.  I was very upset, but Daddy was supportive & calm.  It wasn't very much, but it still scared me.  I looked through all my baby books & it said that this is normal as long as it isn't heavy.  I haven't had another episode since & I don't want one!  I was so worried that something was wrong.
     I think about you all the time, every day & I just want to keep you safe.  Daddy & I have wanted you for so long & I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you.  You continue to grow & rest, but please, don't scare me like that again!  For now, you are grounded to your womb!

Monday, August 23, 2010

First Appointment

Dear Baby,
   Wow!  This has been an incredible day!  For starters, you kept Mommy up ALL night last night & she didn't get any sleep.  Then this morning, you decided to make my tummy upset & boy did I think I was going to lose my crackers!  Luckily, I didn't, & thanks to Daddy giving me some crackers, everything settled down.
    We had our first Doctor appointment today.  We actually saw the nurse & not the doctor, but she was very nice.  We found out that I am 5 weeks & 5 days pregnant with you & your due date is: April 19, 2011!  We are so happy to have an idea of when you are going to finally meet us!  The nurse gave me a lot of information, but she couldn't answer all my questions, so we are going back next week to see the doctor & get some more information.  I just want to make sure that I am doing everything I can to keep you safe & healthy. 
   I am absolutely exhausted today.  Normally I would be heading to bed about now, but we haven't even had dinner yet.  So, Daddy is making a quick meal & then we are heading to bed.  I learned that you are 4-6mm & that your little heart is now beating & all your internal organs are developing.  It's just amazing to me that you are growing so fast!  You truly are our little miracle & we are so blessed to know you are on your way.
    I'm getting ready to eat dinner so I can go to bed.  Keep growing & getting stronger, however, I would appreciate it if maybe you could let me sleep tonight.  :)  I love you no matter what & you are worth all the pain & discomfort because knowing that you are on your way makes me feel nothing but joy.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

1 Week Ago...

Dear Baby,
    WOW!  It's amazing to think that 1 week ago today, we found out that you were coming!  This week has gone by so quickly, but yet slowly at the same time.  It's just wonderful to think that a few weeks ago we didn't know if you were coming & now, here you are, growing in my tummy!  Daddy & I are so blessed & thank the Lord every day for you.
     We got Daddy his own baby book yesterday, so he is really excited to start learning & reading about "Daddy stuff".  We are learning something new everyday about what is happening & what to expect, & how you are growing & changing.  We have our first doctor appointment in 2 days & we can't wait!  We have so many questions to ask & I think it will help me feel better once I have some answers. 
    I'm surprised to find that I am already having cravings.  I thought that was toward the end of the pregnancy, but it is completely normal to have them now.  So far, you seem to want Milk & Salad.  Last night you really wanted a strawberry milkshake, but we passed on that for the time being.  I'm anxious to see what else you are wanting me to eat for you. 
    Daddy has the weekend off, so he and I are going to relax & spend some time together.  We also have to head to the grocery store to buy healthy food for us to eat so you can continue to grow strong & be healthy.  I hope you had a restful night because I sure didn't!  It's OK though, I don't mind.  Maybe you will let me take a nap later this afternoon.  :D
    I'm going to eat breakfast for now.  You keep telling me that you are hungry, so I better get going on that!  Have a wonderful day love & I will write more soon.  We love you!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Dear Baby,
    Mommy & Daddy got a nice surprise today from Grandma & Grandpa!  Your Grandma had to bring me home from work  today because Daddy was working & she said we had to stop by her house first because there was something Grandpa wanted me to see.  I had no idea what was going on, but she was driving, so I said OK. 
   When we got to the house Grandma gave me these beautiful flowers because of you!  There are six pink roses with a pink bow with white polka dots & the card says, "Thank you for giving us a grandchild.  Love, Mom & Dad".  It was the sweetest thing!
    So, I am posting the pictures of the flowers & the card so you can see them at a later time.  Your Grandma & Grandpa are so happy & excited to meet you, they just couldn't be happier knowing that you are on your way!
    On another note, Last night Daddy bought me the book I have been wanting since I knew you were coming.  "What to Expect When You're Expecting".  It's a wonderful book that tells us what is going on with you & me as we grow together.  It's so wonderful to know what you are experiencing & how you are changing.  Daddy really likes it too because it helps him to understand how you are developing & to understand the symptoms that I am having.
    It's that time again where I need to eat some dinner & head to bed.  You've been telling me lately that you would really like a salad, so if you can be patient a little bit longer, we are going to have salad for lunch tomorrow & Friday.  It's Daddy's choice for dinner tonight!  We love you & sweet dreams!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Dear Baby,
    Mommy thought a lot about you today!  You were making my tummy upset & taking all my energy.  I don't mind, you are worth anything I have to go through to see your beautiful face!  All the symptoms just heightened my concerns.
    Mommy is so scared that something might happen to you & that I won't get to meet you.  I spent my lunch hour at work writing down questions to ask the doctor to make sure I don't eat or drink anything that could cause you harm.  It's so hard knowing that your little life is entirely dependent on my actions & I don't want to do anything wrong.  I would be devastated if something happened to you. 
     I keep reminding myself that all my symptoms are your little way of telling me that you are OK & that you are growing & getting strong.  So, you just keep on telling Mommy that everything is alright & I will continue to do everything I can to keep you safe.  We just love you so much & want nothing but the best for you.  When you do finally arrive, there are a lot of people who can't wait to see you!  Have a good night my love.

Monday, August 16, 2010

First day at work

Dear Baby,
    Today was Mommy's first day at work knowing you were in my tummy.  It was exciting & hard at the same time.  I wanted to tell everybody the wonderful news about you & how happy Daddy & I are, but until I know you are healthy enough for all the excitement, I have to wait a little while longer.  I did get to tell a few special people about you.  They knew that Daddy & I had been trying so hard for you to come into the world, that I couldn't wait to tell them!  Everybody was so happy for us & is really excited & I'm sure they can't wait to meet you too!
    Daddy called the Doctor's office & made our first appointment.  Next Monday August 23,2010 we get to see what she wants us to do.  I'm on some different medications for allergies & such & I just want to make sure that they are OK for you too.  I also have a big addiction to Diet Pepsi (you will soon learn), but the doctor said it was OK for me to drink a small amount if I want to.  As much as I love Diet Pepsi, I love you a whole lot more & would give anything up to make you happy & keep you healthy.
    You've been pretty easy on me for the most part today.  It must be because you are spending all your time growing instead of trying to bug Mommy!  It's OK though, you do whatever you need to so that you are strong & healthy.
    I'm going to go eat some dinner now.  You do tire me out quite a bit, so I'm going to eat & head to bed so I can be rested too.  Sweet dreams my love.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 2

Dear Baby,
    Good afternoon sweetie!  Mommy is still reeling with all the news from yesterday.  I am having some mild stomach cramping & that darn headache that won't go away, but I don't mind.  I am exhausted with all the excitement & ready to see the doctor to get more information about you & how to take care of you while you grow.  I'm also a little nervous about going to work tomorrow because I want to tell everybody about your arrival, but I have to wait for a little bit to make sure that you are healthy. 
     So for now, the joy & happiness we feel about you will be shared with just a few people & before long, everybody will be sharing our emotions! 
   Daddy & I are so happy & just can't wait to meet you!  For now, you just rest & grow & Mommy will check in with you later.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I'm Pregnant!

Dear Baby,
    Mommy & Daddy got a big shock this morning...we found out that you are on your way!  We have been trying for so long & anxiously awaiting for the day we would know you were coming & now that day is finally here!
    I got up at 7:30 this morning because I really had to pee.  Knowing that my cycle was 4 days late, I decided to take a pregnancy test.  I have taken numerous tests for so long that kept saying "Not Pregnant", that I was worried that this test would provide the same result.   When I took the test, I anxiously waited with bated breath hoping for a different result, but worried it would be the same.  I kept watching the little hour glass rotate as it was making a determination, but kept looking away while thinking to myself, "A watched pot never boils".  When I looked back, I could tell that the test was done, but I wasn't close enough to read the results.  I took a deep breath & picked up the stick & by the light over the stove, read the result..."Pregnant".  My eyes started to fill with tears & I immediately started to shake.  I didn't think I read it correctly, so I turned on the lights in the kitchen, dining room, & living room to make sure I had a good view.  I read it again, "Pregnant".  At that point I lost it.  I just wanted to scream & yell & jump around, but the rest of the house was asleep.  (Daddy & our friend Melinda who was visiting from England for a few days).  I instantly grabbed the stick & went into the bedroom & woke up Daddy.   I hid the stick behind my back as I shook him awake & told him in a serious voice, that I needed him to get up right away because we had an issue.  He immediately started asking what was wrong.  I calmly stated that I again, needed him to get up & to put on his glasses.  So, Daddy hurriedly put on his glasses & sat up in bed.  I then handed him the stick without saying a word.  I watched as Daddy read the results & looked at me with tears in his eyes & he kept saying, "Oh my God" over & over.  With tears in his eyes, he said "Congratulations Baby, we did it!"  We then hugged each other & cried.  We were trying to keep quiet so we wouldn't wake up Melinda.
   At that point, there was no way we were going to go back to bed & I had to sit down because I was just shaking so much.  We knew that we needed to get my blood drawn to get a confirmation, but Melinda was parked in the driveway behind our car.  We quickly got dressed & then woke Melinda so she could move her car so we could run to the lab (Daddy had to go to work in a few hours).  We, of course, told Melinda the exciting news & why it was so important that she move her car!  Daddy & I then headed to the lab to get my blood drawn.
    On the way to the lab, we stopped by Grandma & Grandpa's house to tell them the news.  Grandma was sitting in her recliner when I handed her the stick.  She was shocked & in some disbelief, but was very happy.  She then woke up Grandpa who was asleep on the couch.  She told him that he had to put on his glasses.  He was grumpy & reluctantly woke up.  I said, "Happy Birthday Dad, we have your birthday gift".  (Dad's birthday is in 2 days).  I handed him the stick.  He stared at it for a moment & calmly said, "Pregnant".  Then there was this long pause & then he looked at me  & asked, "Are you pregnant?".  I said, "YES!".  Then he was  very excited & happy & kept saying "Congratulations!".   Daddy & I then proceeded to the lab. 
  After the lab, we returned home so Daddy could go to work & I spent the day with Melinda around the house mostly talking about you.  About 12 hours later, I got the results from the lab, that yes, I am pregnant & I am 2 weeks along.
    Mommy is so happy that you are on your way.  Daddy & I have been waiting for you for such a long time.  You are just a small speck in my belly, but we love you so much & we are looking forward to feeling you grow & can't wait to meet you!