Dear Baby,
Daddy & I have finally told everybody about you! We are so excited to share the news of your arrival with all our family & friends. We decided not to wait the 2 extra weeks because we feel that with the miracle we have witnessed, we need all the prayers we can get to ensure that you remain healthy & strong. Everybody has been so supportive & they are all excited for us. Lots of people have stated that Daddy & I are going to be great parents to you, so let's hope that as you get older, you agree. :D
We are now just taking things one day at a time & counting down to each appointment to get the next update. I am going to continue to do nothing but sit down. Daddy has taken over all the housework & chores because he wants me to be as relaxed & stress free as possible so that I can continue to keep you safe from harm.
I continue to pray everyday for your health & safety & I know that God is protecting you. Daddy & I have waited so long for you arrive & I think he knows how devastating it would be if something happened. I hope that while you are growing, that somehow, you can feel all this love that we have for you.
Now that people know about you, they are making bets as to whether you will be a boy or a girl. So far, Grandpa is the only one convinced that you are a boy. Everybody else that we have talked to believes that you are a girl. Daddy & I still don't have an opinion, we are just happy to have you no matter what! It will be interesting in a few more months to see who was right!
We love you sweetheart & you hang in there & don't ever give up because we will never give up on you! Sweet dreams & happy growing our love.
Baby Countdown!
Friday, September 24, 2010
It's a Miracle!
Dear Baby,
Mommy had her ultrasound today to see if you still had a heartbeat & she couldn't believe the news she received! Daddy took me to my appointment & your heart was still beating at a strong 168 beats per minute. The tech looked at me and asked in an annoyed tone, "Why are you even having this ultrasound? I'm not the doctor, but there is nothing wrong with your baby". I was upset that she was asking me this & making a comment given that the whole reason we were there was to see if you were still alive. I explained the situation to her & she stated, "Well, again, I'm not the doctor & you will have to talk to him, but your cervix is closed & the baby is nowhere near the cervix". I just laid there completely stunned. What in the wold was she talking about?!
Daddy & I met with Dr. Shoenmaker & my mind was racing. I had no idea what was going on. He came into the office & looked at me said that he doesn't know how & he doesn't know why & he has never seen this before, but somehow, you have completely moved to the other side of my uterus away from my cervix! He said that you are no longer in danger & that there is no reason to believe that you would not survive! He stated that before a miscarriage occurs, you would stop growing because my body would cut off the nutrients to you to prepare for your passing. However, as the doctor stated, "You are growing like a weed"! Daddy & I are completely shocked. I informed him what Dr. Griffin had said on Tuesday & how she had used the words "inevitable" & "unpreventable". He stated that the information we had on Tuesday was correct, but now things have completely changed 180%. He said that you now look like any other normal pregnancy & your heart rate is normal, you are growing normally & he sees absolutely NOTHING of concern! He told me to go home & enjoy the rest of my pregnancy & fully expects that we will get to meet you next April when you are do & he fully expects that you will be completely healthy!
Needless to say, Daddy & I are so excited! We are still in shock over the wonderful news. We truly believe that all the prayers from our friends & family & your willingness to survive is what saved your life. You truly are our miracle & we couldn't be any happier.
I have another ultra sound scheduled for October 8th "for my own sanity" as the doctor put it. He stated that he understands how difficult this has been for us & that I won't believe that everything is OK until I hear your heart beat again & he is absolutely right. So we can't wait for our next ultra sound. We feel so blessed that we have such wonderful friends & family who prayed so hard for you & we are grateful that you are a fighter with a will to live.
As for the bad cramping I had on Wednesday, the doctor has no conclusive answer, but we believe it was you moving to the other side of my uterus with the help from God. We are beyond ecstatic & are so blessed to know that you are going to be OK!! So, you keep fighting & keep growing & we are going to keep praying & continue our countdown until we get to meet you. We love you!!
Mommy had her ultrasound today to see if you still had a heartbeat & she couldn't believe the news she received! Daddy took me to my appointment & your heart was still beating at a strong 168 beats per minute. The tech looked at me and asked in an annoyed tone, "Why are you even having this ultrasound? I'm not the doctor, but there is nothing wrong with your baby". I was upset that she was asking me this & making a comment given that the whole reason we were there was to see if you were still alive. I explained the situation to her & she stated, "Well, again, I'm not the doctor & you will have to talk to him, but your cervix is closed & the baby is nowhere near the cervix". I just laid there completely stunned. What in the wold was she talking about?!
Daddy & I met with Dr. Shoenmaker & my mind was racing. I had no idea what was going on. He came into the office & looked at me said that he doesn't know how & he doesn't know why & he has never seen this before, but somehow, you have completely moved to the other side of my uterus away from my cervix! He said that you are no longer in danger & that there is no reason to believe that you would not survive! He stated that before a miscarriage occurs, you would stop growing because my body would cut off the nutrients to you to prepare for your passing. However, as the doctor stated, "You are growing like a weed"! Daddy & I are completely shocked. I informed him what Dr. Griffin had said on Tuesday & how she had used the words "inevitable" & "unpreventable". He stated that the information we had on Tuesday was correct, but now things have completely changed 180%. He said that you now look like any other normal pregnancy & your heart rate is normal, you are growing normally & he sees absolutely NOTHING of concern! He told me to go home & enjoy the rest of my pregnancy & fully expects that we will get to meet you next April when you are do & he fully expects that you will be completely healthy!
Needless to say, Daddy & I are so excited! We are still in shock over the wonderful news. We truly believe that all the prayers from our friends & family & your willingness to survive is what saved your life. You truly are our miracle & we couldn't be any happier.
I have another ultra sound scheduled for October 8th "for my own sanity" as the doctor put it. He stated that he understands how difficult this has been for us & that I won't believe that everything is OK until I hear your heart beat again & he is absolutely right. So we can't wait for our next ultra sound. We feel so blessed that we have such wonderful friends & family who prayed so hard for you & we are grateful that you are a fighter with a will to live.
As for the bad cramping I had on Wednesday, the doctor has no conclusive answer, but we believe it was you moving to the other side of my uterus with the help from God. We are beyond ecstatic & are so blessed to know that you are going to be OK!! So, you keep fighting & keep growing & we are going to keep praying & continue our countdown until we get to meet you. We love you!!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Hope
Dear Baby,
Mommy had some sever cramping late last night & early this morning & she is very scared that you are trying to leave. I called the doctor & they believe the same thing, so they have scheduled an ultra sound to see if you have a heartbeat. Daddy took the day off work so he could go with me to the appointment.
I had another ultrasound & your heart was still beating at a strong 171 beats per minute. I don't understand how you look & sound healthy, but the doctors are telling me that you are not well. It is such an emotional roller coaster that none of us want to ride.
I saw Dr. Pugmire & she has allowed us a small amount of hope. She said that my cervix is now closed (she has no idea how or why, but it is). However, you are still pushing up on my cervix, which is not good. She said that as of right now, we still have a viable pregnancy, but she believes that I will still lose you & that the pregnancy is going to be day to day as to whether you survive for the next several weeks. She suggested that I go home & do absolutely nothing for the rest of the week. She doesn't know what is causing the cramping, but at this time she does not feel that it is because you are leaving.
It is so frustrating & confusing because yesterday they said that I would lose you & there was nothing we could do & that was the end of that. Today, they are saying that yes, I MAY lose you, but now they aren't sure. It is so difficult to remain strong when every day the situation changes. She informed me to still keep my ultra sound on Friday to see where things were at.
So, again, we wait. We wait for something to happen or for Friday, whichever comes first. I am having such a hard time & am in a deep depression & am an emotional mess. I am holding onto hope for your sake, but scared to do so at the same time knowing what the outcome will most likely be.
Again, I ask you sweetheart. Please hold on & fight for your life. Daddy & I love you so much & we don't want to lose you. I just don't know how I could survive if I lost you. We will keep praying along with our friends & family & hope for the best.
Mommy had some sever cramping late last night & early this morning & she is very scared that you are trying to leave. I called the doctor & they believe the same thing, so they have scheduled an ultra sound to see if you have a heartbeat. Daddy took the day off work so he could go with me to the appointment.
I had another ultrasound & your heart was still beating at a strong 171 beats per minute. I don't understand how you look & sound healthy, but the doctors are telling me that you are not well. It is such an emotional roller coaster that none of us want to ride.
I saw Dr. Pugmire & she has allowed us a small amount of hope. She said that my cervix is now closed (she has no idea how or why, but it is). However, you are still pushing up on my cervix, which is not good. She said that as of right now, we still have a viable pregnancy, but she believes that I will still lose you & that the pregnancy is going to be day to day as to whether you survive for the next several weeks. She suggested that I go home & do absolutely nothing for the rest of the week. She doesn't know what is causing the cramping, but at this time she does not feel that it is because you are leaving.
It is so frustrating & confusing because yesterday they said that I would lose you & there was nothing we could do & that was the end of that. Today, they are saying that yes, I MAY lose you, but now they aren't sure. It is so difficult to remain strong when every day the situation changes. She informed me to still keep my ultra sound on Friday to see where things were at.
So, again, we wait. We wait for something to happen or for Friday, whichever comes first. I am having such a hard time & am in a deep depression & am an emotional mess. I am holding onto hope for your sake, but scared to do so at the same time knowing what the outcome will most likely be.
Again, I ask you sweetheart. Please hold on & fight for your life. Daddy & I love you so much & we don't want to lose you. I just don't know how I could survive if I lost you. We will keep praying along with our friends & family & hope for the best.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Devastation
Dear Baby,
Mommy had another emergency appointment today. She was having some "issues" that she wasn't sure was normal & the doctor said that they needed to see me right away. So, since Daddy was at work, Grandma took me to the appointment. To be honest, I was a little annoyed because I figured they were going to tell me that it was something small & not a big deal & that everything was OK. Boy, was I wrong.
I saw Dr. Griffin & she decided to do a pelvic exam to find out what was going on. She did the exam, but then stated that she wanted to do also do an ultra sound to collect more information. I thought it was weird, but was excited that I was going to get to see you & hear your heart beat again. So, I did the ultra sound & the tech left the room & said she would be back shortly. Grandma & I were waiting for what seemed like quite awhile when the tech returned, but she also had the doctor with her. Now, this is my 4th ultra sound & the doctor has never come into the ultra sound room, so I immediately wondered what was going on. The doctor had the tech bring up an ultra sound picture & that's when my world ended.
The doctor explained that the inside of my cervix was 100% open & that your little sac that protects you was pushing up against my cervix & was trying to eliminate you from my body. She explained that I was having a miscarriage & that there was nothing that they could do to prevent it & she believed that you would be gone before Friday. I was completely hysterical. I started screaming & crying uncontrollably, begging the doctor to save you life. She apologized & said that there was nothing she could do & that it was not my fault that this was happening. I asked her if you could possibly move & she said no. She explained that once you implanted in my uterus, that is where you would stay & it was not possible for you to move. I then asked her if my cervix could close so that you could remain in my tummy & she also said no to that. She explained that because my cervix is already open (& it should not be) it would only close after I had lost you.
I was completely devastated & shocked. Never in a million years would I have though the doctor was going to tell me something like this. Grandma was very supportive & hugged me & tried to calm me down, but nothing would work. The doctor then explained that losing you could be dangerous to my health, so she suggested that I have a surgical procedure called a D & C to have you removed. I explained that I could not do that because you still had a heart beat & that meant that you were still alive & that I was not going to do anything while your heart was still beating. She said she understood & scheduled another ultrasound for Friday to check & see if you had a heartbeat. If not, we would have the procedure at that time.
Grandma & I both had a very difficult time trying to adjust to the news. The doctor answered all my questions, but they were not the answers I wanted to hear. I could not believe that I was about to lose my precious baby that I love so much. I had to call work to tell them what was going on & that I had to take the rest of the week off work. I couldn't stop crying & could barely walk, let alone return to work. Grandma called Daddy & told him what was happening & he immediately came home from work to be with me. All we could do was wait to see what would happen.
We have told our close family & friends who know about you & they are frantically saying prayers & hoping for a miracle, just like Daddy & me. All I can say to you my precious love is hold on & don't give up because we are NOT giving up on you! We love you very much!
Mommy had another emergency appointment today. She was having some "issues" that she wasn't sure was normal & the doctor said that they needed to see me right away. So, since Daddy was at work, Grandma took me to the appointment. To be honest, I was a little annoyed because I figured they were going to tell me that it was something small & not a big deal & that everything was OK. Boy, was I wrong.
I saw Dr. Griffin & she decided to do a pelvic exam to find out what was going on. She did the exam, but then stated that she wanted to do also do an ultra sound to collect more information. I thought it was weird, but was excited that I was going to get to see you & hear your heart beat again. So, I did the ultra sound & the tech left the room & said she would be back shortly. Grandma & I were waiting for what seemed like quite awhile when the tech returned, but she also had the doctor with her. Now, this is my 4th ultra sound & the doctor has never come into the ultra sound room, so I immediately wondered what was going on. The doctor had the tech bring up an ultra sound picture & that's when my world ended.
The doctor explained that the inside of my cervix was 100% open & that your little sac that protects you was pushing up against my cervix & was trying to eliminate you from my body. She explained that I was having a miscarriage & that there was nothing that they could do to prevent it & she believed that you would be gone before Friday. I was completely hysterical. I started screaming & crying uncontrollably, begging the doctor to save you life. She apologized & said that there was nothing she could do & that it was not my fault that this was happening. I asked her if you could possibly move & she said no. She explained that once you implanted in my uterus, that is where you would stay & it was not possible for you to move. I then asked her if my cervix could close so that you could remain in my tummy & she also said no to that. She explained that because my cervix is already open (& it should not be) it would only close after I had lost you.
I was completely devastated & shocked. Never in a million years would I have though the doctor was going to tell me something like this. Grandma was very supportive & hugged me & tried to calm me down, but nothing would work. The doctor then explained that losing you could be dangerous to my health, so she suggested that I have a surgical procedure called a D & C to have you removed. I explained that I could not do that because you still had a heart beat & that meant that you were still alive & that I was not going to do anything while your heart was still beating. She said she understood & scheduled another ultrasound for Friday to check & see if you had a heartbeat. If not, we would have the procedure at that time.
Grandma & I both had a very difficult time trying to adjust to the news. The doctor answered all my questions, but they were not the answers I wanted to hear. I could not believe that I was about to lose my precious baby that I love so much. I had to call work to tell them what was going on & that I had to take the rest of the week off work. I couldn't stop crying & could barely walk, let alone return to work. Grandma called Daddy & told him what was happening & he immediately came home from work to be with me. All we could do was wait to see what would happen.
We have told our close family & friends who know about you & they are frantically saying prayers & hoping for a miracle, just like Daddy & me. All I can say to you my precious love is hold on & don't give up because we are NOT giving up on you! We love you very much!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
9 Weeks
Dear Baby,
Mommy is now 9 weeks pregnant with you as of yesterday. I would have written to you yesterday, but you had me so sick, I just couldn't. Yesterday was the first time I physically got sick. I have nausea every day, but I have never gotten sick until yesterday. You must not have like my breakfast of Rice Krispies cereal, I will be sure to avoid it for awhile, LOL!
Not too much has really been going on around here. I have found out that 2 other people I know are also pregnant & their babies are due around the same time you are. I'm just excited for the next 3 weeks to hopefully go by fast, so we can go to the doctor & hear your heartbeat again. Since I have been feeling so cruddy lately, I am confident that you are still growing & developing as you should. My baby information says that you are now 1 inch long & are the size of a grape. You aren't even here yet & you are already growing so fast!
You take it easy in there & try to take it easy on me. I want you to be happy & healthy, but I could use a little break from feeling sick all the time. I still don't mind the sick feeling, I would do anything for you to ensure your happiness & health. You continue to grow & Daddy & I will talk to you again soon. We love you!
Mommy is now 9 weeks pregnant with you as of yesterday. I would have written to you yesterday, but you had me so sick, I just couldn't. Yesterday was the first time I physically got sick. I have nausea every day, but I have never gotten sick until yesterday. You must not have like my breakfast of Rice Krispies cereal, I will be sure to avoid it for awhile, LOL!
Not too much has really been going on around here. I have found out that 2 other people I know are also pregnant & their babies are due around the same time you are. I'm just excited for the next 3 weeks to hopefully go by fast, so we can go to the doctor & hear your heartbeat again. Since I have been feeling so cruddy lately, I am confident that you are still growing & developing as you should. My baby information says that you are now 1 inch long & are the size of a grape. You aren't even here yet & you are already growing so fast!
You take it easy in there & try to take it easy on me. I want you to be happy & healthy, but I could use a little break from feeling sick all the time. I still don't mind the sick feeling, I would do anything for you to ensure your happiness & health. You continue to grow & Daddy & I will talk to you again soon. We love you!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Dr. Appointment
Dear Baby,
Daddy & I had our Dr. appointment yesterday with Dr. Hawkins. She is the doctor that helped us to get pregnant with you. I had another ultra sound to check on your progress. Daddy got to see you & hear your heart beat for the first time! (I will upload the photos when I get them scanned) You are getting bigger. Your heart rate was 157 & the doctor said that was perfectly normal. She did end up changing your due date though to April 23rd. She said that we weren't quite as far along as they originally thought. It was a little disappointing, but it's OK, they were only off by 4 days. Our books keep saying that you are a size of a kidney bean, so Daddy keeps calling you his little "Kelly Bean". It's so cute!
Our next appointment is October 12th & that will be our 12 week appointment, which means that if you are still doing well, we can FINALLY tell everybody!! We just can't wait to share the wonderful news about your arrival. We just feel so blessed that God has given you to us.
So little one, you just keep growing & getting stronger so that everything will be good at our next appointment which is only a month from tomorrow! We love you so much & want nothing but the best for you. Have a wonderful day sweetheart & I will write again soon
Daddy & I had our Dr. appointment yesterday with Dr. Hawkins. She is the doctor that helped us to get pregnant with you. I had another ultra sound to check on your progress. Daddy got to see you & hear your heart beat for the first time! (I will upload the photos when I get them scanned) You are getting bigger. Your heart rate was 157 & the doctor said that was perfectly normal. She did end up changing your due date though to April 23rd. She said that we weren't quite as far along as they originally thought. It was a little disappointing, but it's OK, they were only off by 4 days. Our books keep saying that you are a size of a kidney bean, so Daddy keeps calling you his little "Kelly Bean". It's so cute!
Our next appointment is October 12th & that will be our 12 week appointment, which means that if you are still doing well, we can FINALLY tell everybody!! We just can't wait to share the wonderful news about your arrival. We just feel so blessed that God has given you to us.
So little one, you just keep growing & getting stronger so that everything will be good at our next appointment which is only a month from tomorrow! We love you so much & want nothing but the best for you. Have a wonderful day sweetheart & I will write again soon
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
8 Weeks
Dear Baby,
Mommy is 8 weeks pregnant with you today. It's still so amazing! I just can't wait to see your face & Grandma & Grandpa are getting anxious too. Yesterday they spent all day "window shopping" for you since it's too early to buy anything yet. Yesterday, Daddy & I started to try & prepare our cat Kaylie for your arrival. You will love her. She is so soft & fun to pet!
Not too much has happened since the last time I wrote to you. I still feel a little cruddy. You made me very nausea today, but I didn't get sick, I just felt cruddy. It's OK though, I know that means you are growing. You are now the size of a kidney bean. That is so amazing to me. 4 weeks ago you weren't able to be seen with the naked eye & now you are 5/8 of an inch!
Daddy & I go to the doctor on Friday to have another Ultra Sound, so we will get to see you again & hear your little heart beat. Daddy is very excited since he wasn't able to go to the last one.
I'm running late this evening. Grandma & I stopped by BabiesRUs to look around. We didn't get anything, but we have already picked out your high chair, so that is one thing we can check of our list! I'm going to eat some dinner so I can head to bed. I was very busy at work today & am so tired. You have a wonderful night & sleep tight my love.
***Note to blog readers: I have uploaded the first ultra sound photo on the blog entitled "Big Scare". You can all finally see the baby (sort of) LOL!***
Mommy is 8 weeks pregnant with you today. It's still so amazing! I just can't wait to see your face & Grandma & Grandpa are getting anxious too. Yesterday they spent all day "window shopping" for you since it's too early to buy anything yet. Yesterday, Daddy & I started to try & prepare our cat Kaylie for your arrival. You will love her. She is so soft & fun to pet!
Not too much has happened since the last time I wrote to you. I still feel a little cruddy. You made me very nausea today, but I didn't get sick, I just felt cruddy. It's OK though, I know that means you are growing. You are now the size of a kidney bean. That is so amazing to me. 4 weeks ago you weren't able to be seen with the naked eye & now you are 5/8 of an inch!
Daddy & I go to the doctor on Friday to have another Ultra Sound, so we will get to see you again & hear your little heart beat. Daddy is very excited since he wasn't able to go to the last one.
I'm running late this evening. Grandma & I stopped by BabiesRUs to look around. We didn't get anything, but we have already picked out your high chair, so that is one thing we can check of our list! I'm going to eat some dinner so I can head to bed. I was very busy at work today & am so tired. You have a wonderful night & sleep tight my love.
***Note to blog readers: I have uploaded the first ultra sound photo on the blog entitled "Big Scare". You can all finally see the baby (sort of) LOL!***
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Dr. Appointment
Dear Baby,
Today Daddy & I went to see Dr. Pugmire to ask her lots of questions about what foods & medications are safe for Mommy to take while you are growing in my tummy. The good new is that it is perfectly safe for me to drink my Diet Pepsi or my Iced Tea & that the "special" food I eat that has Splenda & artificial sweeteners in it are also safe. All of this in moderation, of course. She did also give me some medicine to take for my back pain when it is out of control, so that was a big relief to me. We also found out that you are really doing your own thing & there really isn't much we can do to help you along (other than avoiding the obvious such as alcohol, smoking, & illegal drugs).
We have some other big news for you. We told Grandma Jill & Grandpa Mike about you today. We called them & put them on speaker phone & Daddy & I yelled, "We're pregnant!" Grandma Jill was so excited she started screaming & crying & said that her prayers have been answered. We then told them that they absolutely could not tell anybody right now because we have to make sure you are growing & getting stronger. Grandma Jill & Grandpa Mike always go to South Carolina for the winter & when they found out your arrival date, Grandma Jill said they will have to cut their vacation short so they can come home & meet you when you arrive! It would be so nice to have all of your grandparents at the hospital to help welcome you into the world.
Overall, this has been a good day & I am feeling less stressed about your health. We have lots of people praying for you (including Mommy & Daddy) & I know that everything is OK, I just need to learn a little more patience & continue to have faith. You sleep well tonight sweetheart & I will write more again soon.
Today Daddy & I went to see Dr. Pugmire to ask her lots of questions about what foods & medications are safe for Mommy to take while you are growing in my tummy. The good new is that it is perfectly safe for me to drink my Diet Pepsi or my Iced Tea & that the "special" food I eat that has Splenda & artificial sweeteners in it are also safe. All of this in moderation, of course. She did also give me some medicine to take for my back pain when it is out of control, so that was a big relief to me. We also found out that you are really doing your own thing & there really isn't much we can do to help you along (other than avoiding the obvious such as alcohol, smoking, & illegal drugs).
We have some other big news for you. We told Grandma Jill & Grandpa Mike about you today. We called them & put them on speaker phone & Daddy & I yelled, "We're pregnant!" Grandma Jill was so excited she started screaming & crying & said that her prayers have been answered. We then told them that they absolutely could not tell anybody right now because we have to make sure you are growing & getting stronger. Grandma Jill & Grandpa Mike always go to South Carolina for the winter & when they found out your arrival date, Grandma Jill said they will have to cut their vacation short so they can come home & meet you when you arrive! It would be so nice to have all of your grandparents at the hospital to help welcome you into the world.
Overall, this has been a good day & I am feeling less stressed about your health. We have lots of people praying for you (including Mommy & Daddy) & I know that everything is OK, I just need to learn a little more patience & continue to have faith. You sleep well tonight sweetheart & I will write more again soon.
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