Big Scare

Dear Baby,
    You gave Mommy a huge scare today!  I have been feeling good & actually some of my symptoms are subsiding, but while I was at work, I noticed I was spotting again.  It really scared me, so I called Daddy at home & asked him to call the doctor (not many people at work know about you yet, so I didn't want to make the call).  Not even 5 minutes later, my phone rang at work & it was the doctors office.  Since I was spotting & cramping (I have been cramping the whole time, not a new symptom) they wanted to do an Ultra Sound to make sure you were OK & they wanted to do it today.  They stated it was an "emergency ultra sound".  That scared the crap right out of me!  Daddy has to work today, so Grandma (who works with Mommy) took me to the appointment.
    I was very nervous & scared that you might not be well.  The tech lady had the screen turned so I couldn't see what she was looking at & I was literally holding my breath.  The next thing I know, she says, "We have a heartbeat".  I let out a huge sigh & tears just ran down my face.  I was so happy.  Then she turned the sound on & Grandma & I got to hear your little heart beat for the first time!  It was wonderful!  The tech lady then turned the screen & we got to SEE your little heart beat.  I just couldn't stop crying & let out a huge sigh of relief. 
     After the ultra sound, we then saw Dr. Shoenmaker.  I had never seen him before, but he was very nice.  He said that you are growing & everything looks good.  Your heart rate was 113 beats per minute (bpm), which he said was normal.  However, I have to have another ultra sound next week because he wants your heart rate to be over 120 bpm & if so, that means everything is OK.  If it's not, that is not good news & Mommy will be devastated.
    So, my little one, I am asking you, PLEASE keep growing & getting stronger so next week when we go to the doctor you little heart will be beating over 120 bpm.  If it is, our chances of losing you drop to only 5% & we can then relax a little & let Daddy's side of the family know the wonderful news! 
    I love you so much & I don't know what I would do if I lost you, so Daddy & I & hopefully our friends & family who know about you will keep praying for you to grow big & strong so we can finally meet you in 8 months!  I did get a picture of you today.  You are so tiny, it's hard to see, but I will put it up here once I get the printer connected.  Daddy is very excited to see you & to hear your heartbeat next week.
    We love you so much & please, just keep growing! 

UPDATE:  Here is the baby's first ultrasound at 6 weeks.

Scare

Dear Baby,
    Boy, did you give Mommy a big scare last night!  I have been feeling fine through the whole pregnancy & last night when I went to the bathroom before bed, I found some spotting.  I was very upset, but Daddy was supportive & calm.  It wasn't very much, but it still scared me.  I looked through all my baby books & it said that this is normal as long as it isn't heavy.  I haven't had another episode since & I don't want one!  I was so worried that something was wrong.
     I think about you all the time, every day & I just want to keep you safe.  Daddy & I have wanted you for so long & I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you.  You continue to grow & rest, but please, don't scare me like that again!  For now, you are grounded to your womb!

First Appointment

Dear Baby,
   Wow!  This has been an incredible day!  For starters, you kept Mommy up ALL night last night & she didn't get any sleep.  Then this morning, you decided to make my tummy upset & boy did I think I was going to lose my crackers!  Luckily, I didn't, & thanks to Daddy giving me some crackers, everything settled down.
    We had our first Doctor appointment today.  We actually saw the nurse & not the doctor, but she was very nice.  We found out that I am 5 weeks & 5 days pregnant with you & your due date is: April 19, 2011!  We are so happy to have an idea of when you are going to finally meet us!  The nurse gave me a lot of information, but she couldn't answer all my questions, so we are going back next week to see the doctor & get some more information.  I just want to make sure that I am doing everything I can to keep you safe & healthy. 
   I am absolutely exhausted today.  Normally I would be heading to bed about now, but we haven't even had dinner yet.  So, Daddy is making a quick meal & then we are heading to bed.  I learned that you are 4-6mm & that your little heart is now beating & all your internal organs are developing.  It's just amazing to me that you are growing so fast!  You truly are our little miracle & we are so blessed to know you are on your way.
    I'm getting ready to eat dinner so I can go to bed.  Keep growing & getting stronger, however, I would appreciate it if maybe you could let me sleep tonight.  :)  I love you no matter what & you are worth all the pain & discomfort because knowing that you are on your way makes me feel nothing but joy.

1 Week Ago...

Dear Baby,
    WOW!  It's amazing to think that 1 week ago today, we found out that you were coming!  This week has gone by so quickly, but yet slowly at the same time.  It's just wonderful to think that a few weeks ago we didn't know if you were coming & now, here you are, growing in my tummy!  Daddy & I are so blessed & thank the Lord every day for you.
     We got Daddy his own baby book yesterday, so he is really excited to start learning & reading about "Daddy stuff".  We are learning something new everyday about what is happening & what to expect, & how you are growing & changing.  We have our first doctor appointment in 2 days & we can't wait!  We have so many questions to ask & I think it will help me feel better once I have some answers. 
    I'm surprised to find that I am already having cravings.  I thought that was toward the end of the pregnancy, but it is completely normal to have them now.  So far, you seem to want Milk & Salad.  Last night you really wanted a strawberry milkshake, but we passed on that for the time being.  I'm anxious to see what else you are wanting me to eat for you. 
    Daddy has the weekend off, so he and I are going to relax & spend some time together.  We also have to head to the grocery store to buy healthy food for us to eat so you can continue to grow strong & be healthy.  I hope you had a restful night because I sure didn't!  It's OK though, I don't mind.  Maybe you will let me take a nap later this afternoon.  :D
    I'm going to eat breakfast for now.  You keep telling me that you are hungry, so I better get going on that!  Have a wonderful day love & I will write more soon.  We love you!
  

Surprise!

Dear Baby,
    Mommy & Daddy got a nice surprise today from Grandma & Grandpa!  Your Grandma had to bring me home from work  today because Daddy was working & she said we had to stop by her house first because there was something Grandpa wanted me to see.  I had no idea what was going on, but she was driving, so I said OK. 
   When we got to the house Grandma gave me these beautiful flowers because of you!  There are six pink roses with a pink bow with white polka dots & the card says, "Thank you for giving us a grandchild.  Love, Mom & Dad".  It was the sweetest thing!
    So, I am posting the pictures of the flowers & the card so you can see them at a later time.  Your Grandma & Grandpa are so happy & excited to meet you, they just couldn't be happier knowing that you are on your way!
    On another note, Last night Daddy bought me the book I have been wanting since I knew you were coming.  "What to Expect When You're Expecting".  It's a wonderful book that tells us what is going on with you & me as we grow together.  It's so wonderful to know what you are experiencing & how you are changing.  Daddy really likes it too because it helps him to understand how you are developing & to understand the symptoms that I am having.
    It's that time again where I need to eat some dinner & head to bed.  You've been telling me lately that you would really like a salad, so if you can be patient a little bit longer, we are going to have salad for lunch tomorrow & Friday.  It's Daddy's choice for dinner tonight!  We love you & sweet dreams!

Nerves

Dear Baby,
    Mommy thought a lot about you today!  You were making my tummy upset & taking all my energy.  I don't mind, you are worth anything I have to go through to see your beautiful face!  All the symptoms just heightened my concerns.
    Mommy is so scared that something might happen to you & that I won't get to meet you.  I spent my lunch hour at work writing down questions to ask the doctor to make sure I don't eat or drink anything that could cause you harm.  It's so hard knowing that your little life is entirely dependent on my actions & I don't want to do anything wrong.  I would be devastated if something happened to you. 
     I keep reminding myself that all my symptoms are your little way of telling me that you are OK & that you are growing & getting strong.  So, you just keep on telling Mommy that everything is alright & I will continue to do everything I can to keep you safe.  We just love you so much & want nothing but the best for you.  When you do finally arrive, there are a lot of people who can't wait to see you!  Have a good night my love.

First day at work

Dear Baby,
    Today was Mommy's first day at work knowing you were in my tummy.  It was exciting & hard at the same time.  I wanted to tell everybody the wonderful news about you & how happy Daddy & I are, but until I know you are healthy enough for all the excitement, I have to wait a little while longer.  I did get to tell a few special people about you.  They knew that Daddy & I had been trying so hard for you to come into the world, that I couldn't wait to tell them!  Everybody was so happy for us & is really excited & I'm sure they can't wait to meet you too!
    Daddy called the Doctor's office & made our first appointment.  Next Monday August 23,2010 we get to see what she wants us to do.  I'm on some different medications for allergies & such & I just want to make sure that they are OK for you too.  I also have a big addiction to Diet Pepsi (you will soon learn), but the doctor said it was OK for me to drink a small amount if I want to.  As much as I love Diet Pepsi, I love you a whole lot more & would give anything up to make you happy & keep you healthy.
    You've been pretty easy on me for the most part today.  It must be because you are spending all your time growing instead of trying to bug Mommy!  It's OK though, you do whatever you need to so that you are strong & healthy.
    I'm going to go eat some dinner now.  You do tire me out quite a bit, so I'm going to eat & head to bed so I can be rested too.  Sweet dreams my love.
  

Day 2

Dear Baby,
    Good afternoon sweetie!  Mommy is still reeling with all the news from yesterday.  I am having some mild stomach cramping & that darn headache that won't go away, but I don't mind.  I am exhausted with all the excitement & ready to see the doctor to get more information about you & how to take care of you while you grow.  I'm also a little nervous about going to work tomorrow because I want to tell everybody about your arrival, but I have to wait for a little bit to make sure that you are healthy. 
     So for now, the joy & happiness we feel about you will be shared with just a few people & before long, everybody will be sharing our emotions! 
   Daddy & I are so happy & just can't wait to meet you!  For now, you just rest & grow & Mommy will check in with you later.

I'm Pregnant!

Dear Baby,
    Mommy & Daddy got a big shock this morning...we found out that you are on your way!  We have been trying for so long & anxiously awaiting for the day we would know you were coming & now that day is finally here!
    I got up at 7:30 this morning because I really had to pee.  Knowing that my cycle was 4 days late, I decided to take a pregnancy test.  I have taken numerous tests for so long that kept saying "Not Pregnant", that I was worried that this test would provide the same result.   When I took the test, I anxiously waited with bated breath hoping for a different result, but worried it would be the same.  I kept watching the little hour glass rotate as it was making a determination, but kept looking away while thinking to myself, "A watched pot never boils".  When I looked back, I could tell that the test was done, but I wasn't close enough to read the results.  I took a deep breath & picked up the stick & by the light over the stove, read the result..."Pregnant".  My eyes started to fill with tears & I immediately started to shake.  I didn't think I read it correctly, so I turned on the lights in the kitchen, dining room, & living room to make sure I had a good view.  I read it again, "Pregnant".  At that point I lost it.  I just wanted to scream & yell & jump around, but the rest of the house was asleep.  (Daddy & our friend Melinda who was visiting from England for a few days).  I instantly grabbed the stick & went into the bedroom & woke up Daddy.   I hid the stick behind my back as I shook him awake & told him in a serious voice, that I needed him to get up right away because we had an issue.  He immediately started asking what was wrong.  I calmly stated that I again, needed him to get up & to put on his glasses.  So, Daddy hurriedly put on his glasses & sat up in bed.  I then handed him the stick without saying a word.  I watched as Daddy read the results & looked at me with tears in his eyes & he kept saying, "Oh my God" over & over.  With tears in his eyes, he said "Congratulations Baby, we did it!"  We then hugged each other & cried.  We were trying to keep quiet so we wouldn't wake up Melinda.
   At that point, there was no way we were going to go back to bed & I had to sit down because I was just shaking so much.  We knew that we needed to get my blood drawn to get a confirmation, but Melinda was parked in the driveway behind our car.  We quickly got dressed & then woke Melinda so she could move her car so we could run to the lab (Daddy had to go to work in a few hours).  We, of course, told Melinda the exciting news & why it was so important that she move her car!  Daddy & I then headed to the lab to get my blood drawn.
    On the way to the lab, we stopped by Grandma & Grandpa's house to tell them the news.  Grandma was sitting in her recliner when I handed her the stick.  She was shocked & in some disbelief, but was very happy.  She then woke up Grandpa who was asleep on the couch.  She told him that he had to put on his glasses.  He was grumpy & reluctantly woke up.  I said, "Happy Birthday Dad, we have your birthday gift".  (Dad's birthday is in 2 days).  I handed him the stick.  He stared at it for a moment & calmly said, "Pregnant".  Then there was this long pause & then he looked at me  & asked, "Are you pregnant?".  I said, "YES!".  Then he was  very excited & happy & kept saying "Congratulations!".   Daddy & I then proceeded to the lab. 
  After the lab, we returned home so Daddy could go to work & I spent the day with Melinda around the house mostly talking about you.  About 12 hours later, I got the results from the lab, that yes, I am pregnant & I am 2 weeks along.
    Mommy is so happy that you are on your way.  Daddy & I have been waiting for you for such a long time.  You are just a small speck in my belly, but we love you so much & we are looking forward to feeling you grow & can't wait to meet you!